sense of loneliness and emptiness creeped back into me these few days so i just sat there and let the tears roll, for i know theres nothing much i can do.

recalling the nights i used to cry myself to sleep when i was a child till now i still do that sometimes.... sense of loneiness and emptiness never did leave me, time just allow you to get used to it and sometimes be comfortable with it.

its the kinda loneliness and emptiness, no amount of people around you could help take it away. like im looking at the world and myself as a third party and i know im alone here looking and looking.

feeling...

In the midst of a conversation with a close friend, i was called a social misfit.

how true, perfectly right! was the add-ons from my dear girls.

i could never understand why but i feel funny. funny how they all think in such weirdly manner. i could never feel more puzzled on such labels i was slapped on everytime.

unfair?

its true when people say there really is no justice around...

i truly agree.

i have silly people in my life...

who or what of mine?

an unexpected expected unlucky incident. sis came home last evening and told me she wanted to tell me something when i felt her discomfort.

so i follow my intuition and asked.

me: where's my camera?
she: thats the thing i wanted to tell you.....
me: okie...

my canon ixus 40.

lost during her trip to langkawi with her friends.

i felt so much anger in me to think that i didnt exactly had a good earlier half of the day and it had to be worse. i was angry because my ixus is gone but i was not angry with my sister. I know nobody would want to misplace anyones belonging especially when she knows it means alot to me.

i took deep breaths and decided i leave home to get a bus ride.

i felt sick, i felt anger i felt tired i felt i wanted to just scream i give up. i was too tired with the series of unlucky events that has been happening one after another and doesnt seem to get any better.

first was my r/s, then my family, my job, my leg, now my camera... what else.... hahaha.... i dont know. im tired when even my beloved camera that could make me happy just by simply snapping things, people, children and friends is being taken away from me.

and the ixus, was a gift from my mum for our trip to nepal.....

no ixus, no pictures.

so whats next, who or what of mine?